Beech Tree News Network

ARE YOU A DOCTOR YET ? -As many of you reading this know, this past week has been a bit of a rough one for our family. For a little while now, my mother has been battling some health issues . Recently she has had to be hospitalized a few times in quick succession and she needed extra care even after coming home. My sister and I have been doing our best but my sister has been battling some pretty serious health issues of her own and of course I have the demon of cancer, which saps a lot of my strength and energy. On top of that, my wife's mother had also been dealing with some solemn health concerns of her own. My wife had been stepping up to the plate and accompanied her mother on most of her doctor visits in order to provide both comfort and relay information, so as to try and weigh the best options for treatment. Between Doctor visits and hospitalizations and ongoing worry, my family has been through quite a bit in the last year or so.

This past week our family was getting ready to enjoy a concert and show support for the youngest member of our clan as he performed, along with the rest of our county's high school band, at a venue belonging to a neighboring city's university. As we were enjoying dinner, right before the concert, we got a call that my wife's mother had suffered a stroke and was on the way to the hospital. My wife immediately called her brother and together they made plans to travel to the hospital their mother had been taken to. My daughter and I decided to stay for the concert and when my son asked where his mother was, after spotting us without her, we told him that his mom had to leave because his grandmother had to be taken to the hospital. We were of course worried but my mother-in-law had suffered a mild stroke before and made an almost complete recovery, we were hoping for similar results this time. Just as my daughter, son and I were leaving the university we got the call that their Grandmother was not going to make it, the stroke had been massive and there was no hope for survival. We too immediately set out for the hospital, to provide what comfort and support we could, to the rest of our family, most of them already there or in route.

It has not been an easy week for my family, dealing with the loss and all that entails, your continued support and prayers will be very much appreciated. As I was dealing with the loss myself this past week some familiar patterns came up. I am the one in the family who usually puts pen to paper when going through rough times, in order to try and make sense of it all. I am just about the only one in our family that does that, so they asked me if I could once again put something together for my mother-in-law's service, just like I did when her husband passed away several years ago. I hope what I came up with brings the family some comfort as they remember their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, and aunt, in the years to come. There is one other family member who has also been known to put words together in poetic and thoughtful ways. I asked her if something happened to me if she could get together with my children and come up with something, since I would not be able to, for that particular service, she said she would be honored to.

Another familiar pattern, for me, also began to emerge, I began to ponder on “what might have been,” if things had been turned just a bit differently. One of the alternate paths to my life, which I have contemplated on from time to time is the idea of what my life would have looked like if I had become a naturopathic healer. One versed in the benefits of medicinal herbs, supplements and the foods we eat, along with traditional and homeopathic techniques to treating illness, right on up to becoming adept enough to be certified as a Naturopathic Doctor and traditional nurse practitioner. I began to wonder if several of the people I have loved and lost, might have been able to be saved, if they had been under my care, instead of the care of someone else. You see, even though I have resorted to traditional western methods to treat illness, including a few rounds of aggressive chemotherapy, I don't really completely trust it. I am very much more comfortable with more natural and less interventionist types of healing. In fact, to share just one little thing which I incorporated, among many others, which I firmly believe saved my life and that is the liberal inclusion of green tea in my diet. You may believe all that is just nonsense and quackery, I have no irrefutable proof, like I said it is just my belief. I do not trust all the synthetic, manufactured drugs and chemicals used to try to “cure” us or get us well. Oh well, I guess coping with “what if” scenarios is a mechanism most all of us have turned to from time to time, when facing hardship or pain.

Speaking of becoming a Doctor, I am going to share something I am just a bit embarrassed by but I am going to go ahead and share it. A while back, my son and I were watching one of those cartoons which can get a bit inappropriate every now and then, not something I make a habit of or even really condone but never the less, we were watching and they showed something which made me laugh, when I really shouldn't have but I'll tell you readers about it anyway. In the cartoon there was a little Asian boy sitting on his bed in his room, doing homework or something. An older Asian man, which I assume was meant to portray the little boys father, opened the door, stuck his head in the room and in a raised Asian-American accent asked the little boy “Are you Doctor yet?” To which the little boy replied, “I'm eleven years old!” The father then told the boy to, “speak to me when you Doctor!” and quickly shut the door.

You see the reason I'm a little embarrassed at laughing at that is because it plays off a typical Asian stereotype where they are all overly aggressive, overachievers, with little use for play, compassion, tenderness or emotional support, just accomplishment. I do not like or condone, perpetrating stereotypes. I do not like lumping people together as being all the same if you happen to be of a certain race, gender or even belief system . I believe we each are unique individuals, created in God's image and deserve to be treated that way,with dignity and respect. In fact I am dedicated to wiping things like cultural bias, bigotry, racism, cultural separation and race supremacy off the face of the planet. Such atrocities as Nazi fascism and African cultural genocide started with such twisted worldviews like cultural superiority. I have even seen idiots use the bible to support views embracing things like slavery, male superiority, child abuse and other travesties. It is one of my gravest sorrows that despite my best efforts, such idiocy seems to be on the rise in our society once again. That is why I actually want someone who has been educated, when they are attempting to impart some wisdom on me. The absolutely most idiotic thing I ever heard was “If this is what education gets you, I am glad I am ignorant!” I have no use for “gut feelings” no matter how lofty you try to make it sound, when it comes to acquiring wisdom.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I did laugh at that joke about becoming a doctor when they were barely even in adolescence yet. Ever since that day, on a fairly regular basis, I have often just randomly asked one of my own children “are you Doctor yet?” They both know that their dad has a somewhat twisted sense of humor, so they usually play along, especially my son who also has a bit of twist in his own humor. If they don't feel like playing, they will just tell me to, “go find something to do, Dad!” Now, this works with my own children but with others, maybe not so much. Our son has recently committed to being in an exclusive relationship with a pretty and pleasant young lady. The rest of his family got to meet her just a couple of weeks ago. As we were headed out to dinner, after knowing her for a total of ten minutes, I turned to her and asked, “So, are you a Doctor yet? She looked at me apprehensively, trying to determine if I was really serious, and hesitantly replied “ahh, noooo” My wife spoke up and said “Dennis Phil, not everyone gets your weird sense of humor!” trying to a reassure her, so she would not be so nervous, meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time.

I do put a lot of stock in education, even though I believe our health and education systems in this country both need a complete overhaul. I encourage my children to take their education just as far as possible. I even harp a little bit on what particular grades they receive, even though I know grades are not really a predictor of future success and certainly not a precursor to finding happiness and purpose. I will be the proud parent of two graduating seniors this year. Of course I am only half-kidding about them becoming a doctor; I would be proud if PhD followed their name some day but the amount of love I have for them won't change either way.

I will be prouder if they acquire the equivalent of a doctorate in wisdom. If they have the ability to heal a broken heart. If they can remove the cancer of prejudice. If they can treat the spirit that is withering away from loneliness. If they are able to locate the spark of hope for a child shattered by abuse. When it comes to receiving a Doctorate in restoring the spirit; I think it is a good question to ask all of us; “are you a Doctor yet!”