Beech Tree News Network

FALSE START:  Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little to my name to call my own, besides youth and vigor and the ill-conceived wisdom of knowing all there is to know, which almost invariably accompanies youth; I set out on a journey.

Many of you readers will recognize that I borrowed a phrase from Herman Melville's classic tale about a great white whale and a certain captains obsession with it, to start this particular column, namely the classic- Moby Dick- is where I borrowed the phrase from. The actual very first sentence of the tale is just three words and I believe that was done on purpose, alluding to the very first sentence of another collection of writings nearly all of us are familiar with. Moby Dick- starts off with “Call me Ishmael.” It doesn't say that is the actual name, of the character chosen to narrate this tale of adventure for certain, just that the readers of his tale may reference him by that title. The fact that he goes out of his way, right off the bat, to tell you that the exact amount of time passed is irrelevant to the point of his tale, is in my humble opinion, brilliant. He is cluing us in that he is not writing a boring description of what occurred but inviting us to participate in a mysterious adventure.

The particular journey that I set off on some years ago happens to be when my fiancee became my wife. I am writing this just one day prior to the date of our wedding anniversary. It has been quite the adventure, with its share of troubles and joy, mishaps and missteps, mistakes along with, astonishment and frustration, laughter and our share of grieving but somehow we made it work and we are still together, never mind how long now precisely, just suffice it to say we are no longer the naive kids we were when we met and a sprinkling of hard-earned wisdom along with a touch of white in the hair has replaced the certainty and inexhaustible optimism of juvenility, these days.

You may wonder how we made it this long together ( I sometimes wonder myself and I'm sure my wife would amen that point) after all, my wife and I are quite different in a lot of ways, there are even some core values and fundamental issues where we part ways but when it comes right down to it; it is not really about having everything in common or being best friends, if you define friendship as being buddies having fun together but it is about not giving up when adversity strikes and knowing love is not a fairy tale of forever fluttering hearts but two people relying on each other and forgiving each others flaws and mistakes. It is quite literally about the friendship defined as- being willing to die for another person, that is what it takes to make marriage an adventurous journey, instead of a partnership of convenience, which so many seem to treat it as these days.

Second chances, that is what I am talking about folks the willingness to give someone more than one opportunity before your willing to “throw in the towel” and declare it over. Like a lot of you, or at least a few of you reading this, the last week or so, I have been engrossed in a process that only happens once every four years and no, it is not the presidential election, that is a whole different discussion for another time but I'll have to admit the candidates are really taking us on an adventure this go around, I am talking about the Summer Olympics. Now, for me personally, this is the epitome of sports, it just does not get any better. The true spirit of sport is grasped at and often obtained during the rigors involved in training for and then competing in an event like the Olympics, in my humble opinion there are no professional sports that even come anywhere close to the awe engendered by the this rare event.

There are exceptions though. The use of performance enhancing drugs has put a taint on the competition, that misguided direction, is contrary to true sportsmanship. There are also some rules in place which, to be quite honest, were not thought out by some of the most intelligent people on the planet. For example in track events the “one false start and you are disqualified” rule. Come on now! What reasonable person could even believe that comes anywhere close to being in keeping with the spirit of sport! To train for years, to sacrifice untold amounts, to dream and hope and then have that dream shattered, because nerves and heightened anticipation cause you to jump the gun an instant early. I heard they caved to television interests in adopting such a rule. Executives did not like the delays but executives should not call the shots, justice should; there is nothing fair at all in the justice of “one and done.” I have seen true heroics and more than one case of compassion extended in amazing acts of grace though.

Can you imagine trying to live a life where no second chances are given? It would be a nightmare of a life, wouldn't it? To be given the chance to get it right, even after getting it wrong most of your life, that is what grace is. They say that Herman Melville's book explores spirituality and concepts involving the nature of God and mankind's exploration of that relationship, fascinating stuff but if you really want to know about love, which is what God is after all, then you have to be willing to to embrace the concept of second chances both giving and receiving them. Grace; lets try to grasp that and we might just be surprised and awestruck when we actually attain it.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!

From: Your Husband