Beech Tree News Network

CARE LESS

There is a phrase that I personally wish people would just quit using, it is the phrase “ I could care less!” First off, most people that I have heard use this phrase are saying it wrong. When you absolutely do not care about something, either a person, situation, subject or outcome, then the phrase is, “ I couldn't care less!” yet 75 to 80 percent of the time, I hear the first version being used in such situations. The very notion that you could care less implies that you do care, at least somewhat and perhaps a great deal, so if that is not your intention put the -not- in there.

The very definition of the word -careless- means exactly that; not caring about the outcome. Its opposite, being -careful- means to be full of care about how something turns out. Whenever a member of my family is headed to a destination away from where they are at, one of the very last things I will usually tell them, other than “I love you,” is “be careful” They all have heard it so much that I am sure it is only half listened to and quickly forgotten but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I want them to be full of care for themselves and those around them, precisely because I care deeply about them and the role they play in my life, they each carry a piece of my heart with them. In the south the phrase “be careful” is taken for granted as expressing concern for the well being of another but you have to be careful about who you say this to, for in other parts of the country or world, it may be considered a threat. I heard it taken this way once on a singing competition reality show, a southern gentlemen had just been rejected from progressing further and he told the judges “well alright, see you later, be careful.” He meant it in good nature, but the judges believed it might have been a threat, as in “you better watch your step because I'm out for revenge!”

That is the definition of -careful- that most of us have adopted, meaning to be cautious, to not be reckless or take any unnecessary risks and to be careless is to disregard caution. I suppose that is one way to look at it but I would like to explore a whole different way of looking at care-full and care-less.

A while back now, I had the sad task of having to bury a favored pet of ours. I happened upon her body in a brier patch, off the side of the road and could have missed her entirely, as indeed I must have several times before finding her but I was intentionally out looking for her as she had been missing for a few days and I was getting worried. Our neighbor filled me in that she had been ran over, a couple of days prior to when we waded into the brier patch, in order to give her a proper burial. So, although I am not certain about what happened and understand that some accidents are unavoidable, I am pretty sure that this particular “accident” was the result of someone who just “could not care less” and was driving down a country lane at breakneck speed or gave little value to the life of any cat, one or the other. This particular cat was one of the very few in my life whom I personally claimed as my own. She reminded me of a dog I had in my youth, she was small for an adult cat yet every since she was a kitten she garnered the respect of cats much bigger, everyone knew you did not give her any guff, even though she was friendly and craved attention. So, because of someones disregard for how their actions would affect others, a little joy went out of this world.

Being care-full does not really mean never taking any risk, in fact taking risk is an essential part to life, without risk your soul can be lost. So many folks think of souls being lost simply and purely in terms of what happens after death but that is not the case. When you have lost any purpose, when nothing stirs the soul, when your heart has put up barriers and it grows so hard and cold that it can't be reached any more, then you have truly “lost your soul.”

Caring so much that your heart has a chance of breaking, that is what being care-full is all about. Falling in love with another human being involves a whole lot of risk but you are quite literally being very care-full. Having children is risky business but becoming a father really opened my heart to what unconditional love is all about, there is nothing they can do to change that. Fostering a child and falling in love with someones child, which becomes yours in your heart, risks the heartbreak of possible loss but it is one of the most care-full things you can do.

To be careless is to be selfish, to not care at all about how your actions affect others or about adding joy, empathy, or compassion, to the world. Let's all make a resolution to be more care-full people.