Beech Tree News Network

GATHERING TOGETHER-As I am writing this, it is just a little while  before our nation indulges in feasts and football games, on a day known as Thanksgiving. Many of us use this day, which unofficially kicks off the “holiday season,” as an excuse to overindulge or “pig out” on a frequent basis, without shame. Actually, it is a day set aside for giving thanks, for all the blessings in our lives that too often go by unrecognized. A lot of us have a tendency to become complacent and take too many things for granted, even on a day set aside to break from this habit we often are so content and comfortable that maybe a quick prayer, before we participate in a feast, is about the only acknowledgment we can muster for the occasion.

Many of us will gather together with friends and family during this holiday season to break bread, exchange gifts and stories and just enjoy (for the most part) each others company. Some of us may attend such gatherings simply out of a sense of obligation, feeling it is just a chore to get accomplished as quickly as possible but most of us enjoy assemblies of those we share bonds of friendship or kinship with. For some of us though, the holiday season can be the loneliest or most painful time of year. For those struggling everyday and still not managing to make ends meet, the added stress of gifts or extra food or even heat, during the coldest months, can cause a great deal of anxiety. Then there are those who have lost loved ones and this time of year can bring painful memories to the forefront and there are those who struggle with isolation, sometimes actual physical separateness but often, just a sense of being left out, forgotten or of little value; that pain can slice deep this time of year.

We often are moved with compassion when we see others struggling, either through hardship that had little to do with any fault on their part or when sudden or severe illness strikes or when someone has been overtaken by grief. One of the statements that occurs over and over in such circumstances is, “if there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask!” For the most part people are genuinely sincere when they make such statements, they really do want to help in some way, if they can and don't want you to feel nervous or have trepidation about asking for help. Like most men, I guess, I personally can struggle with pride on occasion and don't like to admit that I don't have it all together or that circumstances are getting the better of me. We are not meant to be independent solitary creatures though, we were created to be interdependent upon one another and sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone, is to let them help you.

When I was looking at starting a new form of treatment, just a while back for the particular type of cancer I have, I will admit that I was apprehensive about it. I especially did not want to start it at the beginning of that summer. Based upon past experience, I was worried about precious time being taken away, from doing things together with my family, during the summer break and with my family getting more mature all the time, those moments when we can do something special together mean a lot to me. I shared with some folks that the idea of therapy again had me worried and I heard “if there is anything we can do ...” several times, for which I was and am most grateful.

Some things did occur that had never happened before, which scared me at first, I could feel a bit of strength slipping slowly away as treatment continued but I have been blessed beyond measure and am truly grateful for all I have been given; especially time. I will give thanks and sincerely mean it, this season and every season of my life.

To be with someone in their time of need is life giving. To do for them what would otherwise be hard or maybe even impossible, on their own, is life affirming but I am going to let you in on a little secret. Gathering together in times of grief, hardship or sorrow in order to share each others burdens is wonderful and please don't think that what I am about to say negates or undermines that in any way but one of the greatest gifts you can give to another human being when they are going through a tough season is to gather with them in celebration.

      In the moments when they are celebrating be there by their side. Share that graduation where someone they love is being honored, attend that performance featuring their child or grandchild, go to the dance recital or the karate tournament, the track meet or the ball game, the concert or the wedding of someone in their lives, whom their world revolves around. It is in those moments of celebration -shared- where neither grief, nor sorrow or any other demons stand a chance of  invading. Those moments entwine lives so strong, it is hard to break them.