Beech Tree News Network

Recently, I was reading about Kentucky’s decision to test high school students with the SAT rather than the ACT. Though formatted differently, both tests are used as tools by post-secondary education to gauge a student’s readiness for college. As a retired educator, I believe overall, our schools do a good job. Yet, even though my teachers and parents were responsible adults and did their best, I didn’t learn all the things I’ve needed in school or at home.

Thinking along those lines, I asked family and friends: “What is something that you did not learn at school or at home that you later realized you needed to know? Please explain.” Responses are listed below.

-Compound interest – make your money earn money.

-How to build a personal computer and program it. Even though I had a degree in Electrical Engineering, they were not teaching how to build a personal computer because they hadn’t been invented yet. I had to learn it to keep up with the times.

-How to live with my husband!

-How to file taxes when I started working a part-time job at 16 – still no clue.

-Discernment in all aspects of life.

-Investing. My parents were simple savers. I realized it took more than passbook saving and CDs for a good retirement. I am thankful they instilled the practice of saving.

-How to budget.

-I did not learn to cook. My Grammy was an absolutely amazing cook, and it seemed so effortless. We talked about me learning, but she always wanted to make things easier for me and most of the time, she just did it herself. Even when I was an adult, she often cooked for me. Over the years since she’s been gone, I have, sometimes reluctantly, begun to learn, and I have to say I’m OK at it. I even managed some perfectly fried chicken the other night!

-Politics…and the importance of getting involved. Being a good citizen was taught but not really how to learn, engage, and advocate for the things I believe. I was always taught that politics are private. I agree that you have the right to believe and vote as you choose. I also believe that not standing for those beliefs in the church, in the schools, and in the public square have led to some dangerous ideology taking root in our society. History doesn’t repeat itself: it often rhymes. If we aren’t willing to believe that we can make a difference, we surely never will – whether that be with our Savior, with our families, or in our politics.

-Technology. It has changed so much in my lifetime. We didn’t have computers when I was in school. I’m not very good with technology.

-Born in 1970, school did a good job with life skills (life skills 1st-8th grade in Horse Branch), teachers even sat with us and taught table manners, for example, no elbows on the table and napkin in the lap. My 5th grade teacher even told us not to shave the day before an ocean trip and to use baby powder in our hair if we tended to have oily hair between washings! Parents and grandparents were good about teaching life skills. Mom taught us to count money using actual money and giving change back in bills. Geography was very lacking at home and at school. When my children (born in1988 and 1993) began school, I supplemented their education. They weren’t taught at school how to write or read checks nor how to make change – to count money back. Since they were taught inventive spelling, spelling was an issue for them. They also had very little practice in cursive writing at school. 

-How credit is managed and affects your daily life or that cash on hand can be more beneficial than something being paid for.

-How to invest for retirement. I learned the hard way for the most part. After some years and some stuff not performing, I started learning from my coworkers at work and through self-study. A person has to watch out for high fees that eat your earnings. Index funds are inexpensive and track the broad market (like S&P 500 or Nasdaq-100).

-There are lots of things that I have learned that I didn’t learn in school. At the age of 75, I finally realized it’s OK to be me and that I don’t have to worry about being something for someone else. Being me is good, and people will either like me for myself or not.

-How to negotiate. I first realized it when I went to purchase my first vehicle. Since then, I learned that you can negotiate a lot more than I ever knew as a young adult.

-How loans work, including student/school loans, car loans, and most importantly, mortgages. I knew the basics of paying back plus interest, but the rest was (and still is) so foreign to me. I never learned about these things in school. I always just signed the paperwork, not understanding these things. Now that I know a little more, it makes me realize how predatory banks are!

-Most of what I didn’t learn at school that I later realized I needed was financial information. No one taught us how to fill out employee paperwork with taxes and insurance and other deductions in mind, or what it would mean to start a 401K, and that would have been a huge help to a 22-year-old starting a career. My mom always helped me with those things, but not everyone has a mom like I did, and I have no doubt that they missed savings opportunities.

-This probably won’t make sense. But I wasn’t taught how to deal with life on my own or to have confidence in myself. My teachers, parents, grandparents, and my husband did not teach me to do that. Then, in my forties, it was just me! And for a while, I even felt God had left me, too. Growing up, my mother was very dominating. She called my choices and decisions childish and immature. She more or less made the final decisions on most things. My dad was a great listener and thought I was level-headed. Then, I went from teachers, parents, and family to being married. My husband and I started out making decisions together. Over the course of 27 years and three children, he started being the one that made choices, a lot of them without my knowledge until he wanted me to know. Then overnight, he was gone, and I was on my own. I had three children still living at home that were as devastated as I was. So, I had to start making every decision. I had no one to consult or ask for help. I never felt so alone in my life. Over time, I began to trust myself and trust God more. I realized He was with me all the time! The last 29 years haven’t been easy. Life isn’t easy. But I needed to learn to be okay living alone. I’ve realized that I’m never by myself; God is always with me every step and decision I make – good or bad. He’s carried me more than I’ve ever walked. I’ve gained confidence in myself that I never thought would be possible! But I lean on my solid rock always!

-How a simple interest loan works. I borrowed money for a car and didn’t know a huge portion of the first-year payments went strictly to interest.

-I learned that life doesn’t always go as planned. Friends leave, sometimes marriages end, and people you never dreamed you could live without, die. I don’t think you can be taught those things. You have to learn by experience. Through those things though, I learned that God truly will carry you through anything if you trust Him.

-One thing that I wish I had learned at home was knitting and crocheting. This was not something I needed to know, but now sure wish I had learned. I see creations that other people make with those skills and truly wish to learn them. It’s an art that hopefully continues with the next generations.

-Everyone that’s nice to you isn’t your friend. You can’t trust everyone.

Unquestionably, most adults continue to learn. Sir Walter Scott said, “All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education,” and Jay Samit said, “Lifelong learning is no longer a luxury but a necessity….” Learning helps adults adapt to a changing environment as well as to new interests. And along the way, most of us have even learned some hard things.