Beech Tree News Network

To-do lists are a part of my daily life. They help me remember the things that need to be done. While reading last week, I came across some articles about to-don’t lists. Although I am unlikely to make such a list, they were entertaining reading.

The items below are good examples of to-don’t lists, comng from three sources (https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/20-things-that-everyone-s... https://www.success.com/10-things-successful-people-never-do-again/; https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/here-are-48-things-not-t...): 

-Don’t conform to what everyone else does or what everyone else chooses.

We should not be afraid to be different. This is likely what my parents meant when they said, “If your friend jumps off a cliff, are you going to jump off, too?” We have different gifts and talents, and we have different paths in life.

-Don’t judge before you have tried to understand.

It’s easy to jump to a conclusion based on what we already know. That’s prejudgment or bias. Face ideas, opinions and people with an open mind.

-Don’t ignore your loved ones, family and friends, in spite of your busy day.

Every single day, spend time with those special to you, whether it’s through quality face-to-face time, or a few minutes of talking on the phone. Bottom line, remember who is important to you.

-Don’t let your pet peeves get in the way of your relationships.

Grammar, cleanliness, or whatever else you have as a pet peeve should not be a reason to turn a relationship sour. There is a good way to say hard things. And there are times when you can let go of your less important obsessions. 

-Don’t be too nice. 

Learn to say no when enough is enough. Oftentimes, not knowing how to say no leads to abuse (whether intentional or not). 

-Don’t brood over mistakes.

It is natural to feel guilty for mistakes. For big mistakes, reflect on what went wrong, talk it out with a trusted friend, and learn from the experience. Then let it go.

-Don’t do anything that requires you to be someone you are not.

In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable? If the answer is no to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed.

-Don’t believe you can please everyone.

Once you understand that it is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people.

-Don’t neglect to do due diligence.

No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves. 

-Don’t forget some basics:

Don't talk yourself down.

Don't call each other names in an argument: fight clean.

Don't hold onto grudges.

Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done” (https://www.firstinspire.com/quotes/8-motivational-quotes-to-help-you-ge...). Mandela’s statement may apply more to to-don’t lists than to-do lists. After all, it’s easier to focus on getting a task done than on changing behavior.