Beech Tree News Network

The online Merriam Webster dictionary describes a friend as someone we like and with whom we enjoy spending time (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/friend). Many of us can recall a disagreement with a friend or a time we felt the need to take a break from a friend. In childhood this is common. After a few hours together, the best of friends can have a dispute. Because we are different, we engage with friends differently. As we mature, we learn to preserve friendships by practicing unspoken rules.

Unspoken friendship rules vary from friend to friend. These rules can be as simple as not discussing politics with one friend and not offering advice to another. On his website, Gregg Hake said:
A true friend is great in stature and noble in expression.  You would be wise to heed the words of Mark Twain: “Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you think you too can become great.”   The company you keep helps to amplify the value of your life (http://gregghake.com/2010/05/real-friends-and-unconditional-love/).
Additionally, the company we keep can add to or deplete our emotional energy. This factor might affect our unspoken friendship rules (How much time can I spend with this friend?).

Many have expressed opinions about friendship, including the following (http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html):
•    Friends are the siblings God never gave us. –Mencius
•    It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
•    Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. –Euripides
•    Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over. -Octavia Butler
•    The only way to have a friend is to be one. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
•    A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself. -Jim Morrison
•    The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares. -Henri Nouwen
•    Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. -Friedrich Nietzsche
•    A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. -Elbert Hubbard
•    Where would you be without friends? … There's nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing. -Jennifer Aniston

In John 15:12 (NIV), Jesus said, “My command is this: love each other as I have loved you.”  Certainly this command is a goal; yet, we are human. We have those moments, even with the best of friends, when we speak out of turn (forgetting our unspoken friendship rules) or when we are too sick/exhausted/worried, etc. to consider how our actions or words may be perceived. I like Friedrich Nietzsche’s comment above: “…friendship closes its eyes.” In a true friendship, both parties occasionally have to close their eyes to the errors or mistakes of the other, overlooking and forgiving – a requirement for loving one another.

Walter Winchell said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out”
(http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_friendship.html). I am blessed to live in a good community, to have good friends and a loving family. But, I am also thankful for the many times friends and family have closed their eyes to my errors and continued to love me.