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Don Locke: Looking Through Bifocals

What I saw from the bench at Wal-Mart: After an hour or so of people-watching, I saw fat women in stretch pants---not good. I only saw two real plump (real plump) women in short-shorts (I did sort of risk one eye). I also saw one or two old knobby-kneed men in knee-length shorts. Also not good. All in all, I did see a lot of obese adults . . . not many fat children. That's good.

I witnessed a lot of slim people in a hurry. The skinny always walk fast . . . like they all know exactly where they're going and wantin' to get there yesterday. I saw some big bellies. My mother always said milk would make your belly big. I really don't know how correct she was . . . you see, Mother never drank milk, but Gladys was a good-size gal.

I saw one young man dressed like a hippy---I guess they still call them hippies. That was also good . . . very good . . . ONLY ONE! Wonderful!

I saw more pidgin-toed women than men. I don't know if that is a gender trait or not. I only saw one or two pidgin-toed children---they can correct that now with sleeping-braces in kids.

Most older men wore tucked-in shirts. The younger ones had theirs outside. Shirt tails on men should be tucked in . . . also pull-over t-shirts don't go good with fat bellies. Thank goodness I only saw a few young men with shaved heads. THAT'S GOOD.

I saw one older, conservative-looking guy, a tall-slim drink of water, in dress pants, white shirt and bow tie. I immediately branded him an intellectual . . . maybe an old-fashioned professor. I'm told now days, a lot of college teachers don't dress any differently than the kids . . . not good.

A Chinese lady sat next to me talking on her cell phone. I suppose she spoke Chinese. But, when you hear another person speaking in a language you don't understand, you can almost bet they know one more language than you do.

I noticed one lady going out with six gallons of milk in her basket. She either ran a restaurant, or she was the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.

I saw two guys carrying out a kayak. I didn't know Wal-Mart sold boats. Macys in New York, at one time sold airplanes. Starting around 1937 they sold the Erco, Ercoupe, a two passenger aircraft for around $3,000. They probably would not allowed you to have flown it out the front door.

However, the most pleasing, admirable thing I witnessed, was a young man, a Wal-Mart employee, moving in shopping buggies from outside. He was wheelchair-bound. He rolled the wheelchair with one hand and pulled the baskets with the other. He could make that thing fly. One of my old professors was fond of saying, "If you swing a blunt ax long enough, you will cut some wood."

Kindest regards . . .

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