Beech Tree News Network

Ode to the hospital gown:

As the nurse brought me mine it looked familiar, it had more gown at the top than the bottom. It should be called a "keister" gown; they tend to show a lot of that.

They tell us there has been more technology progress since 1900 that there was all time before that. That's probably true . . . with one exception: THE DREADED HOSPITAL GOWN. If you HAVE NEVER BEEN SO BLESSED, a hospital gown would not be a good candidate for a "bucket list" (pun intended).

I was never a patient at a hospital until I was about 30 . . . and a few times since. However, not much has changed since the last time. You still have to put the gown on backwards, with not much way to cover you hindmost, with avails viewing for whomever wants to look. Velcro would be good I think.

I have a friend who went for knee surgery . . . a former college basketball player. His gown looked more like a T-shirt. In the operating room he refused to allow them to remove his undershorts. He got to keep them.

"My knee has nothing to do with shorts," he told them.

All-in-all my hospital stay was not unpleasant. The food was passable . . . however like all hospital coffee it tasted like it had been strained through a dirty sock. But I never had any bad coffee . . . some's just better.

Have you ever seen a Japanese Sumo Wrestler in a hospital going . . . away? Me either. It must be a spectacle. Now that may be a good bucket list item.

Folks tell us that once you have been seen naked, you, forevermore, have blown your chances to ever again look dignified . . .

Kindest regards . . .