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Don Locke: Looking Through Bifocals

Every now and then I hear stuff, mostly on TV, that doesn't even come close to the edge of common sense. Recently I heard the phrase, ". . . component of my ultimate privacy . . ." Here's another (some grad-school student in psychology undoubtedly came up with this one), "It's not the things we have that count; it's the memories we create with them." If any of you out there in can unriddle this, please let me hear.

Going on ahead with this grab-bag of thoughts, what will they do with BIGFOOT if they ever catch him? You may have seen on TV the show about a bunch of yahoos out at night with headlamps and a bunch of other woodsy-looking paraphernalia trying to get a glimpse of him . . . we assume it's a HIM; he has a big, hairy body . . . at least that's what the supposed videos show about him.

If the Baptists capture him, they will want to get him baptized, and put him on a long-range planning committee. The Catholics will sprinkle him, give him First Communion, and pray he doesn't spill the wine or gobble-up the bread. But my biggest concern is, if the Jews get at him first they will have their Rabbi try to circumcise him! That could get somebody hurt. BAD.

On another vector; beats me why the Republicans are trying to out-nasty each other. Have they forgot to remember THEY ARE TRYING TO GET BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE? Newt Gingrich and some woman presidential-hopeful were going at each other hammer and tong, both Republicans, on national TV. Haven't they heard that families may fuss at home behind closed doors, but NOT BEFORE THE REST OF THE WORLD? It's like the Devil laughing his backside off when Christians get in a fuss over the color of a new church carpet. Common sense sure ain't common. NEWS FLASH REPUBLICANS: The Democrats will provide all the opposition you'll need, and then some, come the 2012 election. Jealousy knows no bounds in politics . . . or war for that matter.

General MacArthur and Admiral Nimitz were jointly responsible for the command of troops in the Pacific Theater in World War Two: MacArthur the Army; Nimitz the Navy and Marines. MacArthur had a streak of jealousy a mile-wide, and a streak of ego two miles wide. Of course Mac thought he ought to be in charge of the whole shootin' match . . . to the point that if Chester Nimitz set one toe inside of MacArthur's ocean he had three fits and a bad spell. With this schoolboy-marble-game fussing, mostly on the part of Mac, it's a wonder we won the war at all. Apparently Nimitz had no ax to grind; he was the rock, the steady one . . . he did his job, and he did a good one.

Jealousy wasn't exempt within the White House itself. It's well-known the Kennedys and Lyndon Johnson got along . . . not good. Bobby called Ethyl, his wife, "Ethylbird," making light of Ladybird. Lyndon refered to Bobby as, "that little ba....d, Bobby."

Nixon hardly liked anybody. According to one of his top White House aides Nixon had a "get-even list" a mile long. He even made unkind remarks about Billy Graham, one of his supposedly close friends. Billy said, in one of his books, he forgave the President. Knowing Billy, he did.

One a lovelier, lighter, note, they told of a woman recently on TV who went around to department stores and paid off the balances owed on Christmas gifts people had put on lay-away. She remained anonymous. She said she had enough money, and this was her way of celebrating Christmas. Wonderful.

I opened with BIGFOOT; I'll close with him. If they really want to catch Bigfoot, they ought to stick the IRS on him. They're the only ones who could catch Al Capone.

Sidebar: Franklin D. Roosevelt rode to his first inauguration in 1933 in Al Capone's car. It's the only one they could find that was bulletproof. The IRS had confiscated it when Al went to the slammer.

Nuf cd.

Kindest regards . . .


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