Beech Tree News Network

Southerners tend not to use threes words when twenty will do: “ Now at this time.” If its not now, what other time could it be? Then you throw in “school –teacher” with Southerner you’ve got word trip around the world:  “Last time class, if you remember, (half of them don’t), we were discussing the effect of the bacterium, ALCALIDGENEESE VISCOSIS  on COLOSTOL milk.” “Last time,” is superfluous (not nessary). Now you have both “at this time, and then last time”. By-the-way, I wanted to use “superfluous”  to show how swave I can be when needed. (we used to say, “swave as a wave on a slop bucket.”)
Sometimes southern folks feel a need to explain things to the Lord when they pray: “tis again Lord we come to you on this Sunday morning here at New Cypress Baptist Church- we want to pray for those we know about and those we know not about- course we know about Bud Bowling. Bud’s been poorly. Bud is old man Ben Board’s son in law. Bud lives just across the road from his father in law Ben Board. They all live down there toward Branscomb Hill- just below Cousin Nina Isabel’s place.” The Lord was probably smiling saying, “OK, got it.”  “And Lord, too I’ll make mention while I’m at it, we haven’t hardly had any rain here in a good while- we’re dry. Just a day or two ago it saw tow crows over on the big road fightin’ over a fan belt, and Lord, if it’s agreeable with you, don’t send your son, You come yourself- this is a man’s job.”
Sidebar (see-voo-play) ; speaking of surplus, Uncle John Noffsinger, the head deacon at New Cypress Baptist Church, was also the Lords Supper Wine custodian. He kept it in a 5 gallon glass container in his cellar. It was a real wine elderberry.  They said some local boys used to slip down there on occasion but that’s another story.  As a very young lad it had heard about Uncle Johns wine. At New Cypress Baptist are glass was passed around during the Lord’s supper really “close communion” one glass. Everybody took a sip out of the same glass- all except Bob Lee,  Bob was an old batchelor from  over on the other side of Giebel Hill. They always had to stop and refill after Bob’s turn. He’d turn it up and drink the whole glass. I can still see Bob smacking his lips now. In my young mind I surmised why Uncle John kept 5-gallons of wine. The passing parade… Kindest Regards…