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Don Locke: Lookin Thru Bifocals

Men and women don’t communicate well with each other. Well duh. Who doesn’t know that?  Sometimes both of them don’t.
A woman may say to her husband out-of-the-blue, “They went to Bowling Green last night and bought a second hand table.”
This says to the husband, “Who went to Bowling Green, and where did they buy a second hand table?”
The wife , after much chastisement: “ Well, Bill and Sue, they went like they do every Friday night to the auction, you ought to know that.”
A woman may say, “I hope you’ll go to church with me sometime, “ what the woman should have said, “ Will you go to church with me this coming Sunday?” This directness is the only thing that computes with a man.  Men deal in DIRECTNESS. Women deal in VAGUENESS, expecting men to understand.  Men don’t understand SQUAT. They need a drawn picture.
A woman may tell a man, “I hate you; I never want to see you again.”
A man takes this as gospel.  He may go off somewhere and cry his eyes out and get drunk.  He believes her.  He may leave and never come back, mourning this lost love the rest of his life.
If they should by chance ever see each other again the woman will invariably say, “Why did you leave me?”
In Genesis 16, because at 90, Sarah, Abraham’s wife, thought she was well beyond bearing children; she did something without thinking it through.  She told her husband Abraham to take her handmaid, Hagar to with her bear an offspring.  When Hagar conceived Ishmel, Sarah changed her mind, became insanely jealous, and made Abraham send her and the child away.  Poor old Abraham took Sarah at her word.
Part of this attitude of trusting what a woman tells you could be because a man may have been raised to have a deep respect for the opposite sex.
Back yonder (a good Phrase) if wanted a chicken for dinner you could go by the poultry house in town and buy a live one.
A mother sent her 15 year-old boy into town on Saturday.  “Go by Guy McPherson’s poultry house and get me a good-sized hen for Sunday dinner tomorrow,” she told him, “then go by S. E. Hale’sHardware and pick up a No. 3 washing tub.”
While in town the boy ran into some other boys and got to swapping.  One of the other boys had a weaning pig, leading him on a grass string.  Our boy ended up trading two pocket knives for the pig.  He needed a 4-H Club.
He put the pig in a grass sack, tied the hen’s feet together and then to his belt.  He slung the pig over his shoulder, got the new tub by the handle and started home.

On the way he met this pretty neighbor girl and asked if he could walk with her home; it was by then getting dusky dark.
She told him no.  She was afraid if it got real dark before they got there he might try to kiss her.
He assured her he was a good and decent boy, had been taught to respect a girl, and that he’d never try anything like that- besides “I’ve got this pig and this chicken… and I’m carrying this washing tub.”
“Well, the girl said, “We could put the chicken under the tub, and I COULD HOLD THE PIG.”
Kindest regards…..

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