Beech Tree News Network

Hanging on the drop-side of common sense---I've paid my nickel; I'll take my shot:
---If you find yourself frequently scratching your back on the edge of the door facing, it may be time to take your spring bath.  I may take mine pretty son, now that the weather is warmer.
---I found out something this past week I didn't know.  If you are a foreigner in this country and you obtain a passport, you aren't allowed to smile when they make your picture to be on the passport.  It may be that the government doesn’t trust anyone that smiles.  They probably think you are up to something if you smile---on the other hand if you look serious they now doubt would think you are a terrorist or that you have cheated on your income tax.----You heard?  Scientists are thinking now about trying to capture asteroids.  They think they may contain some kind of useable fuel.  Say what?
   We’ve still got 100 years’ worth of PROVEN, untapped, oil reserves Prudhoe Bay, Alaska…not to mention a 100 years’ worth of safe atomic energy at Oak Ridge, TN---fuel grade.  Also at Hanford, Washington.  Sometime ask your Congressman why these sources are untapped, and why we are still buying oil from the Middle east and Canada.  Mostly Canada now.
   And while we are at it, ask him why we sell wheat to China; China then sells it to Canada who then turns around and sells it to us at a much higher price than we got for it when we sold it to China.
--If you should ever crave to write a tear jerking country love song, let me star you off with a good title:  “Just let me cry today”.  This came from first wife Bett.  Once after major surgery when she was told she was facing more surgery, she said---through tears, “I’ll be all right tomorrow; just let me cry today.”
---Ironing your pants sometimes can bring dividends.  I was ironing a pair a day or so ago when the iron hung on something.  It was my best pocket knife that had been missing since no-telling when.
---There is an old saying:  Many times the strong are also gentle.  In his book, WORKING AND THINKING ON THE WATERFRONT, Eric Hoffer, showed a soft and gentle side.  This big, ham-fisted longshoreman revealed, “I have on my table a bunch of grape hyacinths in a green vase.  All evening I have been conscious of the beauty of this combination of green and blue.  Had I the ability, I would have painted it again and again.
---Folks find a way;  I once knew a couple, he weighed right at 500 pounds, she had a leg off and they had two kids.
---Growing up, men, mostly, had their own by-words: by-jacks, by-heck, by-gosh…some didn’t begin with “by”.  My great uncle Will Vick’s was “Si”.  “Si-dodblast.”  He said it on many occasions, “I would just as soon let the dod-blasted sun shine in my mouth as to eat light bread.”  He was married to Aunt Lola and I saw her bloomers once.  She was bent over dipping whey out of a butter churn.  The bloomers?  They were golly busters.  She was a big woman.  I didn’t get much of a buzz.  Her bloomers came to below her knees.  I was 8.
---It has come to me why the Arabs are always fighting but never win a war.  They waste all their ammo shooting it up into the air.
---I dearly love good word-crafting.  Many of our Western writers are excellent at it:  “In the presence of Miss Winthrop, the mule skinner had invented a string of words which were quite meaningless but sounded like profanity to the mules.  At least the mules moved out briskly as though they had been properly cussed.”
---When I was a kid, I knew this guy who was a logger, and cursed his mules something awful…flat turned the air blue.  After a “Damascus Road experience” he was gloriously save; then called to preach.  He then went around to each of his mules and asked for forgiveness---pulling each mule’s ear over and talking softly into it…”I’ve already asked the Lord to forgive me; I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me too.”
---Educational psychologists say early intelligence can be measure in a child by the way they pick up subtleties.  (Never knew why this word needs a “B”.)  This, they tell us also applies in adults.  Maybe there is something to this.  I saw a guy one day and I said to him, “I saw your mother recently, I told her she still looked like a girl.”  Smiling I added, “She didn’t like that much.”  He said, “Well, she’ll get over it.”  Sometimes she’s that way.”  His mother was still attractive but she wasn’t any spring chicken.
---Wife to husband:  “Since your prostate surgery, do you still write my name in the snow?”
Heat up my beans in the microwave and fry me some thin cornbread…I’m done yonderin’ for now.
Kindest Regards…..