Don Locke: Lookin Thru Bifocals
It’s said that dominating another makes the dominator feel powerful and knowledgeable, but it takes away the vital energy of those who are being dominated. It makes no difference if they tell themselves it’s for the person’s own good, or they are our children, therefore they need to be controlled all the time. The damage still occurs, there should be a happy medium, which is not always easy to reach.
We’ve all seen when parents who are too controlling also those who aren’t controlling, enough. When someone dominates you physically they are also dominating your mind. It is called psychic violence or mind violence. One feels drained of both mind and body. Children feel put-down and timid, with no self confidence.
That is what human conflict has always been about: petty conflict in families; in the workplace; between nations. It’s the result of insecurity and weakness— having to steal someone else’s energy to feel okay. That is why Japan attacked the U.S. in World War II. They didn’t have natural resources enough to take their rightful place among other nations, they thought. They saw the human world as a vast competition for energy, and thus power.
If we let God provide our psychic energy (mind energy) we won’t have to feel insecure and weak, and have to steal someone else’s energy to feel okay.
Growing up, we had a neighbor who controlled his children with both mind violence and physical violence. He would hit and slap his boys around. I never saw him hit his daughter, but he would belittle her. She had a good job and earned her own money. The man tried to control how she spent her money. I once heard him call her a “show-going idiot,” (movies).
He was a low-grade man. I never, ever heard any of his children speak kindly of their dad, or show him any kind of affection.
He was the loser.