Beech Tree News Network

THIS AND THAT:  No cussin’ on the beaches at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  Swearing is prohibited.  Failure to obey ordinance could result in a stiff fine, “Freedom of speech does not allow you to yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theatre,” wrote U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Oliver Wendell Holmes.  The same goes for filthy talk. 

You may recall the old pop song, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.”  Now, you may not want to go back to try finding it.  There is so much human excrement on the streets, we’re told, the “City is having to hire extra clean-up crews.”  Doesn’t sound too romantic.  

There once required were anti-stress classes for students at Florida State University.  They eventually had to make the classes OPTIONAL.  They said anti-stress classes were too STRESSFUL.  Say what??

The U.S. Department of Labor says seventy percent of jobs now do not require four-year college degrees.  The jobs do, however, require skills commence rate with the job.  Truth is, a lot of people don’t want a job.

Actress Whoopie Goldberg said she divorced one of her ex-husbands because he constantly left the commode seat up.  When she went to the bathroom in the dark she kept getting stuck.  Watch it guys. 

California is the first state not to require cash bail for criminals.  What?  They just going to say, “pay us when you can.”  Slap them on the wrist and turn em’ lose?  

Some environmentalists were working on a regulation to put masks over cows’ mouths to keep them from belching-up methane gas when they reregulate their cud.  For folks not versed in animal science, regurgitating is the only way a cow can get rid of stomach gas.  They’re not like a horse.  I wonder how the project is coming along.  That’s sure gonna take a lot of masks. 

What are the chances of finding a book in the bottom of an empty barrel that would decided your life’s vacation?  Abe Lincoln ran a store in Salem, Illinois.  One day a fellow came by and wanted to trade an empty barrel for some groceries.  Abe swapped with the fellow.  When Abe opened the barrel he found a large book at the bottom.  The book was titled, BLACKSTONE’S COMMENTARY ON THE LAW.  The rest of the story is well known. 

Thank you LORD for leaving that book there.  

Until next time; “Don’t squat with your spurs on –and always drink up-stream of the herd.”  

Kindest regards…