Beech Tree News Network

One time first wife Bett and I were at a funeral.  This old guy behind us kept talking out loud.  When Bett and I got home I said to her, “I’m going to get you a low-caliber pistol, and if I ever talk out loud at a funeral, I want you to sting me in the foot with it.”
    I’m looking at 83 pretty soon; I try to think back how some old folks miss-behaved in public and remind myself not to do the same. I try to remember my bathroom manner too. I once saw a sign in a public restroom: “We aim to please; you aim too, PLEASE.” This reminds me of this friend Bett and I was visiting. In her bathroom when you “raised the lid”, there was a sign under it that said, It’s so nice to have a man around the house.
    In my younger years I used to hear how as you get older you aren’t as afraid of as many things as you once were.  That’s true about some things.  I don’t fear storms as long as I’m inside.  But I don’t deliberately muck-about outside and ask to be lit-up by a bolt of lightning either.  I still fear snakes.  If I see snakes on TV, I change the channel.
That’s not to say I haven’t had many encounters with snakes. I have lived in the country a good part of my life.  I have fought snakes; I’ve killed snakes- I’ve had pets bitten by poisonous snakes. I live in town now.  I’ve never seen a town snake. 
This snake fear could be a genetic thing.  My mother was so afraid of snakes that if she saw one she would bust out crying.  That’s why my daddy picked black berries mostly by himself.  She few times mother went along, she always came home crying. I had a friend who used to say, “People who like snakes need serious help.” I agree.
When Bett and I stood before the preacher 63 years ago, I promised to love, honor and obey, But not GO BLIND. I suppose I’m some like the old honky-tonk song: “The gals get prettier at closing time.”  And I’ve noticed this in other old guys.  As I’m nearer “closing time” than I once was, I seldom see an ugly woman even if some of them are just barely pretty. If this makes me “an ugly old man”, then so be it. I’ll cut a choggie here… old guys, change your shorts regularly; keep your powder dry, and use plenty of it.
                        Kindest regards…..