Don Locke: Lookin’ Thru Bifocals
Things that come to mind, not in any order.
When I was a kid, we had a traveling tent show that came to our town every summer. There was a live band, jugglers, dancing girls and a one-act play. The show was called “Bisbee Comedians.” The star comedian went by the name Boob Brasfield. One of Boob’s jokes-he saw a small boy sitting on a park bench, crying. He asked the lad the reason for all the tears.
“Cause I can’t do what the big boys do,” he said.
Boob said, “I sat down there and cried with him.”
At 86, I now know what Boob meant. I’ve often said, mother nature got it all wrong. She should have put good sense on a kid, who has energy to go with it, rather than the old, whose brains have matured along with knowledge and wisdom, but hardly any energy to go along with it.
The good jokes were always clean back then. Why dirty-up a good story?
Years ago, a Louisville eye doctor did stand-up comedy on the side. One of his stories was about a teenage boy and a girl. On a Saturday, a mother sent her son into town to pick up a few things.
“Go by the poultry house and pick us up a good-sized baking hen. We’ll have chicken and dumplings for Sunday dinner tomorrow. Before you start home, go by the Jenkins Hardware Store, and get me a number-three size washing tub. Don’t stay too long, get back before dark.”
When the boy got to town, he got in with some other boys trading pocketknives. He ended up on the short end and got a dud. On the way out of town, he met a fellow carrying a runt pig in a grass sack. He ended up trading the pocketknife for the pig. By that time, it was dusky-dark. He met a neighbor girl going his way, headed home. He asked if he could walk along with her.
“I don’t think I want you to. I’m afraid when it gets real dark, you’ll try to kiss me.”
“No, I’m a good Christian boy, I would never think of doing that…” He went on trying to convince her. “Besides,” he said, “I’ve got this chicken, this tub and this pig.”
She said, “well, we could put the chicken under the tub, and I could hold the pig.”