Beech Tree News Network

“Belle had a sword?” I asked my daughter, Natalie, after seeing a picture of my granddaughter, Sabria, dressed as Belle in the Bippity Boppity Boutique at Disney World.  I had seen the newest movie version of “Beauty and the Beast,” but I spent much of the movie in the restroom with either Sabria or her younger half-sister, Laney, so I thought maybe I missed something.  

“No, Belle didn’t have a sword,” Natalie said, “But Sabria insisted she have one for the picture.”

I smiled to myself.  That sounded just like something my granddaughter would do.  She has always been drawn to the idea of the warrior princess.  Early on, Sabria emulated Disney princesses like Merida (from the movie “Brave”), who carried a bow and arrow with her everywhere she went, and Mulan, the oriental princess with a sword.  They weren’t the type to sit back and wait to be rescued like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.  It made perfect sense if Sabria were going to dress like a princess, she was going to have a weapon of some kind.

I didn’t really grow up with the character of warrior princess.  The closest my sisters and I had were cowgirls like Dale Evans, Roy Rogers counterpart, or Barbara Stanwyck in “Big Valley” and Doris Day in “Calamity Jane.”  Many of the women’s roles in movies during my time were women who were being rescued by men, in the tradition of Disney princesses like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.  I picked up that it was alright to be sassy and progressive-minded if you were a cowgirl, so that’s who I pretended to be most of the time.  Oh, and Mary Poppins.  I admired her wit and perseverance.

You would think that attitude would have spilled over into real life as I got older, but it didn’t.  It amazes me sometimes how much the roles of my parents affected my life.  Although my stepmom was strong, both mentally and physically, she was always subservient to my dad.  For many years, I followed her lead in my own life.  My husband, Garey, was never the kind of man who would demand I be subservient to him.  He had seen his mom suffer at the hand of his dad’s controlling attitude, and he sure wasn’t going to do that to someone else.  He always encouraged me to learn what I could and to do things for myself.  (He did the same with our daughters.)  I was the one holding me back, in much the same way I had watched my stepmom reign herself in.  My dad was one of those men who are both drawn to and threatened by strong women.  The bottom line was he expected his wife to always back him up whether she agreed or not, and my stepmom did.  

My sisters are all stronger than the men they married.  My stepsister married a man she could argue with twenty-four-seven.  She’s a lawyer, so no surprise there.  I am the only one of the five of us who married a guy I am on equal footing with.  Of my two daughters, Natalie was the princess type, Nikki was the tomboy.  Pictures of the two of them in make-believe costumes show Natalie dressed as a princess or Barbie, whereas Nikki is a Ninja Turtle wielding a sword or nunchucks.  I was the same mom to both girls, Garey the same dad.  Children have their own take on life, their own view of themselves.  I don’t know why, as parents, we beat ourselves up so much over the paths our kids take.  Within reason, we can only influence them so far, the rest is born into them or chosen by them.  I have been with Sabria from the beginning.  She has always viewed herself as the warrior princess.  Who knows, maybe so did Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir and Ruth Ginsburg.

When Sabria returned from Disney World on Friday, she entered the office at New Image wearing a pirate hat and carrying a sword.  I told her how much I loved her and missed her then quickly exited the room before she made me walk the plank.