Beech Tree News Network

Garey’s mom, Agnes, went back to her home in Alabama yesterday.  She had been staying with us for the past two months.  She broke her hip in early November while she was visiting, so her surgery had to be performed in Bowling Green, and her physical therapy had to happen in Morgantown.  It was hard to let her go, for all of us, but especially for my granddaughter, Sabria, who referred to her great grandmother as Aggie. 
It tickled Agnes to hear Sabria walking through the house calling, “Aggie, err are oo?”  Sabria would sometimes wake Agnes in the mornings by pushing her bedroom door open, sticking her little face inside the room then yelling, “Boo!”  In the evenings, when we were all watching TV, she would pile nearly every toy she had into Agnes’ lap then climb up on the couch beside her and they would play or Agnes would read to her.  It was wonderful to watch them, and it helped me understand more fully the cultures, unlike our own, where extended families live under the same roof.
Because I grew up in a situation where I was separated from my biological family on my mother’s side, it took me a long time to understand the importance of family influence, beyond my own and Garey’s, on our own daughters’ lives.  Garey’s family lived 250 miles south of us, and my dad and stepmom lived 150 miles north of us.  We had no brothers or sisters anywhere around, either, so everything fell pretty much on the two of us.  I wish it had been different.  I wish, at least, I had made more of an effort to get them to Agnes’ house more often.  Maybe they could have avoided some of the pitfalls that were waiting for them if they had had more of their grandmother’s influence.
When I was growing up, everybody was somebody else’s family, or at least, that’s what it felt like to me.  My three sisters and I seemed like extra baggage.  We visited mostly my stepmom’s family.  They weren’t mean to us or anything like that.  They were always nice, especially Grandma Lawson, but it was clear that my stepsister was the star.  I remember one time in particular, when my stepsister was called into her grandfather’s den, where he counted out ten one-hundred-dollar bills into her hand as we watched.  We got the message.
Occasionally, we got to go visit our dad’s mom, Grandma Stone.  She always tried to make my three sisters and me feel special, and I remember feeling like we had the edge for a few minutes.  I’ve come to understand how important it is to feel like you’re special to someone besides your parents, and if your parents don’t particularly like you, grandparents or aunts and uncles can sometimes offer you validation.  Aunt Della, my stepmom’s sister, did that for me, and I will always be grateful, even if she was somebody else’s family.
It takes about four and a half hours to get to Aggie’s house, and it takes a super effort to ride in a car for that long with a restless little soul like Sabria, but I plan on making the effort.  Sabria needs Aggie and Aggie needs Sabria.  They are like the rest of the human race, we all need every bit of positive influence we can get our hands on in order to make this life work out.