Beech Tree News Network

I wish I hadn’t been so stressed out all the time when my kids were young.  Everything seemed so crucial at the time, and a lot of things really weren’t.  I realize I have the vantage point of hindsight, understanding I didn’t have when I was in the thick of things.  I think often of my stepmom and my stepsister and the volatile relationship they had when my stepsister was growing up.  My stepmom was so frustrated by her daughter because she would never listen, and she always had an opinion and a determination to do things her own way.  It has served her well as an adult, but it created a hellish environment when she was a kid.

My little granddaughter has that same kind of determination, although she doesn’t pitch the kinds of fits my stepsister did.  Sabria is more of a negotiator.  If you want her to do something she doesn’t want to do, she will make a counter offer.  In the world of my childhood, there was no room for a child’s opinions or any kind of compromise.  I tried to make sure I listened to my children in order to give validation to their point of view.  I didn’t always succeed.  I’m trying to do better with my granddaughter.

My daughter, Natalie, had to proctor a coding exam on Saturday, so I spent the night on Friday night in order to take Sabria to the “Breakfast with Santa” event at her school the next day.  It was a two hour event, with pancakes and crafts and pictures with Santa and the like, but I was hoping I could get her out of there after an hour, because we had some serious Christmas shopping to complete.  (Because she lives in Bowling Green now, my time is limited with her, and I have to make every moment count.)

We ate pancakes and made rain deer feed and colored pictures and met Santa, and I was really hoping to go after all that, but they announced a movie in the gym, and I thought about all the times I had rushed my kids from one event to the next, and I decided I wasn’t going to do that to Sabria.  While in the gym waiting for the movie to start, Sabria and the other children chased each other and took turns pulling themselves up on a bar and climbing the wall with their feet.  There was a really little boy who couldn’t reach the bar, so Sabria lifted him up so he could grab hold.  I was so proud of her. 

We stayed until everything was over then headed for the car and Walmart, Sabria’s favorite store.  We went to the toy shop so she could buy gifts for her brothers and sisters then went to other sections of the store so she could get gifts for her dad and stepmom.  

Next, we went to Kohl’s, because Sabria wanted to get her mom a beautiful dress.  I always let her pick out her own gifts, within a certain price limit.  There was only one size dress of the one she chose, and it wasn’t her mother’s size.  I told her I would order it on line, and that satisfied her.  She wanted to get her Papa a belt, but we couldn’t find one in his size, so I promised to order that also.  When I realized how long the lines to all four cash registers were, I breathed a sigh of relief that I could order the things instead of having to wait in line for forty-five minutes.  That’s when she saw them.

“Oh, Gee, look,” Sabria said, “they’re beautiful snowflake earrings, and they’re only four dollars!”

I did look.  They were beautiful.  They were only four dollars.  But the line to purchase them wound from the registers to the shoe department.

“Sabria, I really don’t want to stand in line for an hour and a half to buy some four dollar earrings,” I said. “Why don’t you let me buy them for you another time.”

“But they’re the last ones,” she said.

I looked, and she was right, they were the last ones.  We got in line behind a really nice lady who told Sabria how beautiful the earrings were.  “The things we do for our grandchildren,” she laughed.  

“The line is moving pretty fast,” Sabria encouraged, “Maybe, it will take us only thirty minutes instead of an hour.  Thank you so much, Gee.  We can share the earrings if you want.”

It did take us only thirty minutes to get to the registers.  The woman in front of us let us go ahead of her.  Sabria thanked her, and we bought the snowflake earrings.  She was so happy with her purchase.  In the car, she took them from the small bag, and turned them toward the window.

“See how they sparkle,” she said.

I did.  I could see it in her eyes.