Beech Tree News Network

Like others who are aging, I have trouble with short term memory.  Where is my coffee cup?  Didn’t I wash that pair of jeans?  I thought that show came on Tuesday nights.  Those kinds of things.  My long term memory, however, is alive and kicking.  It holds a virtual library of DVD recordings that I can pull up at will.  The memories aren’t a list of grievances, they are small films about my life.  I expect they will be with me till the end or at least, until the end of my mind.  The things I remember lead to some interesting conversations.

Recently, my daughter, Natalie, and I were talking, and my granddaughter, Sabria, was listening in.  We were talking about how we really appreciate Sabria’s attitude.  She is very easy going and accepts things she can’t change and just goes on with what she has.

Natalie said, “You know, Sabria has always been like that.”

That got Sabria’s attention.  “Mama, have you lost your mind!” she said.

I laughed at the shocked look on Natalie’s face.  “Sabria was a rascal child,” I said, with a grin.  Sabria nodded in agreement.

“Don’t you remember the fit she pitched in Family Dollar over those Disney cups she wanted?” I asked

“I remember that one.”  Sabria laughed.

“How about when you went to sign her up for T-Ball?  You had to drag her out of there,” I reminded her.  “Then there was the time you were going to enter her in one of those Catfish Festival pageants, and she kept running off the stage.”

“I don’t remember any of that,” Natalie said.

“Sabria,” I said, “your mama only remembers the good about you, and that is wonderful.  I, on the other hand, remember everything about you, good and bad, and I love you anyway.”  Sabria was delighted by that.

A few days ago, Garey and I had a conversation about our relationship.  “I don’t ever remember us getting into a knock down drag out argument,” he said.  “We’ve always been able to discuss things civilly.”  

“Garey, don’t you remember the argument we had in the garden, when you told me to get myself to the house before you stuck your foot up my backside?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Garey said, a little unsure.

I love Garey, and I enjoy our life together, but it was a bumpy ride to get to where we are.  I can remember all the facts of a situation and still come away without bitterness or remorse if…and this is a big if…the people involved love me.  I can do that, because I can also remember all the facts about when I acted like a moron.

As a child and young adult, I lost a lot.  I think that’s why my memories stay so close to me.  They are the one thing that can’t be taken away.  Until, I’m visited by dementia or death, that is, and that trade-off with life in the hereafter is fine with me.  I don’t think I’ll be needing them there.