Beech Tree News Network

There are some things that would be amusing no matter what time of year they occurred, but they are particularly amusing if they happen at Christmas, especially if they happen on Christmas day.  My daughter’s fiancé, Scott, found himself in one such situation.  He went with our family to Taylorsville on Christmas day.  Garey’s mom, Aggie, was visiting from Alabama, so we drove two separate vehicles—Scott, Natalie and Sabria in one; Garey, Aggie and me in the other. 
    Just like at most Christmas gatherings, there was the traditional fare of ham, potatoes, beans and corn, as well as a crockpot full of spicy meatballs—my sister-in-law likes to mix things up a bit.  We’re always giving Scott a hard time about not trying new foods, so he decided he’d try the meatballs. 
    After dinner, we played a round of Dirty Santa, and sometime during the game, Scott began to feel a bit queasy.   He told Natalie it would probably be best if she drove the three of them home, so she climbed behind the wheel.  She was glad she did, because she had to stop several times for Scott to climb out of the car to vomit.  The last episode happened on the curvy road from Caneyville to Morgantown.  Natalie pulled back onto highway 79 and accelerated to the maximum speed limit.  She was ready to get home.  Scott settled in with his head leaned back against the headrest.  A few miles down the road, Scott heard Natalie suck in her breath.  He opened his eyes just in time to see the skunk before Natalie ran over it.  Scott had to ride the last 30 miles to our house with the scent of dead skunk wafting through the air vents.  Natalie, in keeping with the Hughes mantra that something is funny until it makes someone else miserable then it’s hilarious, laughed hysterically the rest of the way home.  Scott was not amused.
    There are some things that are amusing and would never happen at any other time of the year but Christmas.  At the top of that list—probably for many years to come—is an incident involving my friend, Greg Hampton, a mailbox and an elf.  Greg and his wife, Renee, bought some of those Star Shower laser lights this year in order to set one up at their son, Josh’s, house as a surprise for their  granddaughter.  Greg waited for Josh and his wife, Jennifer, and their daughter, Laney, to leave before pulling into their driveway with the laser lights.  He thought he’d have plenty of time, so he took his time positioning the lights for maximum effect. 
    Greg’s phone rang just as he was finishing up.  It was Renee telling Greg the family had already returned to the subdivision and he’d better get a move on.  Greg jumped into his big 4-door diesel pickup and roared out of the driveway, looking back over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the lights from the road.  He suddenly felt his truck strike something rather large and by the sound of the thud afterward, he knew it could be only one thing.  Sure enough, upon closer examination, Greg discovered he had run down the family’s mailbox.  There was little he could do about it at the time, so he returned home, with plans to fix the mailbox in the morning.
    When Josh, Jennifer and Laney returned home, Laney was indeed thrilled by the light show that was going on at her house; however, her parents were less than pleased that someone had vandalized their mailbox.  Josh took a picture of the damaged mailbox then posted it to his Facebook page, along with the promise of a reward for information leading to the culprit.  There was instant outrage amongst the Facebook community of friends, even suggestions to contact the United States Postal Service, because, as everyone knows, tampering with mail and mail receptacles is a felony, punishable to the full extent of the law. 
    Before the family got out of bed the next morning, Greg had returned to the scene of the crime in order to make things right.  After he fixed the mailbox, he attached an “Elf on a Shelf” to the mailbox flag.  He took a picture of the elf then put his own post on Facebook.  It read: “Never fear!  I found the criminal!  Where is my reward!?!?”
    Greg is still waiting to hear back.