Beech Tree News Network

It has been one of those weeks when I have questioned the wisdom of my having brought children into this world.  This is not one of those “back in my day” columns.  I am pretty much a forward-looking person.  This week, however, the clamor of the world and all the vitriol it is spitting at our children and grandchildren have caused me to reflect.  I understand why some people have chosen to homeschool their children, and why others have completely removed their children from social media.

               Earlier in the week, there was a post on fb by a very wise British elementary school teacher.  She brought two apples with her to school.  Unbeknownst to the children in her class, she repeatedly dropped one of the apples earlier.  When she held the two up to the class, both apples appeared to be identical on the outside.  She chose the one she had secretly dropped repeatedly and suggested that it was inferior to the other apple.  She told the class they should pass the inferior apple around and call it names and offer insults to it.  All but one little girl complied.  She held up the apple that hadn’t been dropped and suggested how far superior it was to the first apple.  She told the class to pass it around and offer compliments and encouragement.  They did.  Once more, she held both apples before the class, side by side.  They appeared to be identical.  She sliced the apple open that she had suggested was the superior one.  It was fresh and juicy.  She sliced open the apple that had been berated by the children.  It was severely bruised, parts had turned to mush and were coming to pieces.  The teacher’s lesson was clear.  “The tongue has no bones,” she said, “but it is strong enough to break a heart, so be careful with your words” (Words by: Mum in the Moment, fb).

               The “Be Kind Movement” was started in 2015 by film producer Premila Puri.  Her personal experience of having been bullied in school spurred her to create messages spotlighting the importance of kindness (bekindmovement.co.uk).  I’m sure you’ve seen some of the public service ads on TV since that time.  That was nine years ago.  It doesn’t seem to be working.  Why isn’t it?  I think it’s because kindness doesn’t scream for attention, so it is being ignored by a society that is screaming for attention.  That begs another “Why?”  I believe our self-worth is being pinned onto public recognition, and it doesn’t even have to be positive recognition. 

               Social media platforms seem to always be blamed for the current generation’s inability to filter their words, and granted, some of the vying for attention began there.  However, the critical posts on social media have been transferred onto face-to-face confrontations.  Did you see the recent news story in which two congress women were hurling personal insults at one another during a committee meeting on Capital Hill?  As I watched that clip, I asked myself how we could expect better from our children.  We can’t.

               We are all being judged by a jury of our peers, especially our children and grandchildren.  A jury who shows little mercy to those who are found lacking. The kids who are found lacking are self-harming, on anxiety meds, or in long-term counseling.  Sometimes, all three.  This observation does not come from a news report or from social media posts.  It comes from talking to parents of children who are suffering from the abuse of their peers.  Children who have been mocked because of their weight, their clothes, their social standing.  Children who have been told that they are of no worth, and they should just go kill themselves.  No one wants to believe their child is among the ones who are inflicting the damage, but someone’s children are, so maybe it would behoove us all to pay closer attention.

               There is a series streaming on Prime Video called “800 Words.”  The main character writes a monthly column, in which he says it best. 

               “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can cause a nuclear holocaust.”