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Cheryl Hughes: Courage

In our early marriage, I would get so mad at my husband, Garey, for being happy about everything.  The only things that really got under his skin were government regulations (we owned a coal mine at the time) and a bird dog that wouldn’t point.  His positive attitude was very annoying to someone like me, who saw disaster lurking around every corner.  I would think, “He just doesn’t see what’s going on around him.  If he did, he would be as anxious as I am.”  At times, he would say, “It’s going to be alright,” and I could tell he really believed what he was saying, but his words fell on deaf ears.  “I’m a realist,” I would respond, wearing the word like a badge of honor.  I think there was something else involved, as well.  As a pessimist, I really liked being right, most pessimists do—I know I was raised by one.  I also know how crazy this sounds, but pessimists would rather believe for the worst and be right than believe for the best and be wrong. 

                Julia Cameron wrote in her book, BLESSINGS:

                “In the face of depression and a sense of despair, I find a small action which I can undertake toward the positive.  Recognizing that my life is a matter both of proportion and perception, I work consciously to keep gratitude as my chosen attitude and optimism as the lens through which I view the world.  This is not denial.  This is courage.” (Putnam Books, 1998.)  After reading Cameron’s words, I came to the realization that I was a coward.

 Ben Ferencz was one of the prosecutors during the infamous Nuremburg Trials.  He is the last living one.  Ferencz was interviewed about his life of seeking out and prosecuting Nazi war criminals.   He was asked if he ever got discouraged.  He said, “It takes courage not to be discouraged.”

                It took me awhile, but I finally embraced the life of courage.  I believe for the best without fear of being wrong.  During the throes of the recent “Pandemic,” it has done my heart good to see others believing for the best.  I loved the news story about the people of Italy standing on their balconies, singing to one another, and the people of Spain on their balconies, cheering the emergency responders and health care personnel.  I have enjoyed the news stories involving random acts of kindness, people helping people.  Yeah, I know all about the toilet paper hoarders, but I’ve laughed at the comments on fb.  My personal favorite involved the riddle that’s making the rounds: John had $300, Anna has $400, Peter had $700—who has the most money?  The answer is Anna, because she has money.  John and Peter had money.  One guy commented that Peter spent all his money on toilet paper.  You gotta love social media.

                Recently, there was a big storm where I live.  I watched out my dining room window as water pooled in my front yard, and hail fell from the sky.  I watched my yellow daffodils get pummeled with falling ice and blown about with gale-force winds.  I figured that would be the end of them.  The next day, I got up to sunshine.  I walked out onto my front porch, and saw yellow daffodils, still standing, their little faces reaching for the sun.  That’s where I want to be at the end of it all.  Still standing, with my face turned toward the sun.

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