Beech Tree News Network

Garey and I painted our barn last week.  It is an old barn, made from oak, and it has some sort of pressed wood siding, so we painted mostly siding then oak boards in the places where the siding was missing. 
    When I bought the paint, I didn’t plan on painting the barn myself.  As a matter of fact, I didn’t plan on Garey painting the barn either.  I was going to hire it done, but I opened my big mouth after I got home with the paint, because I was so pleased with myself for getting the paint on sale, at a savings of ten dollars per bucket; hence my involvement in the actual painting of the barn.
    Like all jobs, the prep work was the killer.  We scraped the old paint off then swept the boards with a broom.  Garey tightened up loose boards with wood screws.  I covered the flowers next to the barn with plastic, and started painting the lower boards with a paint brush. 
    Earlier in the week, Garey got us a paint sprayer at a substantial savings with a coupon he used at Harbor Freight.  Instead of using a barn ladder, we used his backhoe.  Garey got into the backhoe bucket with the sprayer.  The sprayer was fitted with a long hose that fed paint from a five-gallon bucket on the ground.  I used the backhoe controls to raise him to varying degrees of height until the bucket had reached its limit.  In order to get to the very pinnacle of the barn, we had to put the feet of the barn ladder into the backhoe bucket, lean the top of the ladder against the side of the barn then raise the bucket.
    Garey is a trusting soul.  There is no way I’d get onto a ladder in a backhoe bucket with me at the controls.  You know how easily distracted I am.  There were times when Garey would have to yell at the top of his lungs over the sound of the diesel engine to get my attention, because he needed the bucket raised or lowered, and I had gotten distracted by my horses or the dogs or the wood bees buzzing around my head. 
    On Saturday, I had to help out at Valvoline Express.  I asked one of the guys there if his mom ever mowed the yard or painted the barn or anything like that, and he said, “No.”
    “She has a boy,” Garey was quick to point out.
    Garey has always been disappointed that we didn’t have a boy.  He loves his daughters and his granddaughter, but he wishes he’d had a son, as well, so he’d have help on the farm.  He always says he must be God’s gift to women, because he’s been surrounded by them all his life. 
    Personally, I think I’m pretty good help.  I always show up, and I don’t quit until the job is done.  I finished the barn doors by myself on Friday while Garey was at work.
    I can’t remember if I’ve told you before, so I’ll tell you again, Garey and I have selected go-to people in the event that one of us passes on before the other.  My go-to guy is Mark Harmon (Gibbs on NCIS).  Garey’s go-to girl is Jennifer Anniston (Rachel on Friends).  I realize this plan is contingent upon these particular parties agreeing to the terms, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
    On Friday evening, Garey and I were watching TV when an ad for Aveeno moisturizing lotion came on.  Jennifer Anniston is their spokesperson.  When the ad concluded, Garey turned to me and asked, “How can she still look so young?”
    “She doesn’t paint her own barn,” I answered.