Beech Tree News Network

There is a campaign underway to make the word “bossy” a bad word.  The campaign is spear-headed by Sheryl Sandberg, a former executive at Google, presently the CEO of Facebook and author of the book, “Lean In.”  Sandberg contends that, “Bossy is a negative put-down…and it stops girls from pursuing leadership roles.” (ABCnews.com)  There’s even a website (banbossy.com) that gives tips about how to encourage young female leaders. 
    Many of the nation’s top female leaders have jumped onto the bandwagon: Michele Obama, Condoleza Rice, Anna Maria Chavez, and Beyonce, to name a few.  All of these women were called bossy at one time or another in their lifetimes, and you know what?  It doesn’t seem to have slowed any one of them down; on the contrary, I suspect it helped propel them upward.  Have you spent much time around a bossy person, man or woman?  There is very little that will deter them.  I know, I live with one.
    My granddaughter, Sabria, is three years old and one of the bossiest little people I’ve ever known.  Occasionally—against the sound advice of Beyonce whose mantra is “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss”—I will call Sabria a bossy-butt.  When I call her a bossy-butt, she doesn’t hang her head in shame and go off to another room in order to ponder her lack of self-worth.  No, she gets mad, and retorts with phrases like, “Gee, you’re getting on my last nerve!” then continues on her way.
    We made strawberry jelly together last week.  I let her stand at the stove with me and stir while the mixture was in the starting phase, long before there was any major heat involved.  The whole time she was giving me directives like, “Hold the handle, don’t touch the pan,” and “Don’t put your hand on that burner, I don’t want to have to take you to the emergency room!”  While we were hoeing out the corn last week, I accidentally uprooted a corn plant.  Sabria put her hands on her hips, marched herself down the row to where Papa (Garey) was hoeing, and told on me, then she came back and told me I should be more careful.
    Sometimes, I’ll go toe to toe with her , because I feel it’s important for her to realize that she can’t be in charge of everything all of the time.  Sabria likes to race Hot Wheels cars, and it’s particularly important to her that she wins.  I make sure that every third race or so I take the checkered flag, just to get her used to the idea that sometimes she is going to lose.
    Bossiness is usually a family trait.  If you don’t believe that, you should spend a week-end in Alabama with Garey’s mother and sister.  Over this past Memorial Day week-end, I spent a lot of time listening to Agnes and Charlotte posturing for control.  The conversations involved who or who isn’t going to cook whatever and who or who isn’t going to pay for it and how Tupperware bowls were or were not going to be moved to another shelf to prevent Agnes from climbing on a stool to reach them, yadda, yadda, yadda. 
    Some people are just bossy.  They figure somebody’s got to be in control and it might as well be them.  I don’t really consider it a flaw.  You’ve heard the old adage, “Lead, follow or get out of the way.”  If you run across a bossy person, I’ve learned it’s best to just get out of the way, because one thing’s for sure, they’re not going to allow you to lead.