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Andy Sullivan: Against the Grain

You can feel it.  Your heartbeat increases as the time draws near.  When the day arrives, it’s half like Christmas, half like that episode of the Big Bang Theory where Leonard, Sheldon, Walowitz and Raj are all sitting at their laptops trying to get Comic-con tickets.  I’m describing, of course, fantasy football draft day!

It’s that time of year again and, if I’m being honest, draft day is the most fun part of the whole process-more so than even playing the games.  It’s nerve-wracking, sure.  That’s part of the fun, though.  The process, for those unfamiliar, goes like this: you join a league(we recently switched from CBS to ESPN a few years ago), choose keepers if you played the previous year(that means they’re already on your team-no one can draft them) and wait until draft day to draft the rest.  You don’t just twiddle your thumbs until that day. (you have to say this part like WWE’s The New Day)) Oh NOOOO! There is studying to be done, research so you’ll be ready(or as ready as you can be) when draft day arises.  You’ve heard the saying “everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”? Metaphorically speaking, in this case. The “punch in the mouth” is when another player takes the guy you had earmarked for your next pick.  

What I did last year(because we take this pretty seriously) is I found me a binder and made the Andy’s Fantasy Football Manifesto of Dreams, LLC.  I even typed up a nice little cover page.  As of a few weeks ago, I hadn’t found the binder.  I was afraid I’d lost it.  The other day, I was cleaning my shelf and found it! Yesterday morning I got my pen and paper, retrieved the ESPN Fantasy Football show that was in the hopper, and poured over it like I was studying for a final.  

I write that information down(I know I’m not alone in this) for later.  I’m in no danger of giving away secrets because the entire rest of my team(except dad and myself) lives in Tennessee and Arkansas.  Once a guy you had earmarked gets picked, make sure you mark through the player so you don’t try and pick them.  That first year I played, I knew nothing.  I can’t count the times I was told “he’s been picked”.  And if you take too much time, the computer picks for you.  

To keep this from happening often, I find it best to make a list of players by position.  It’s necessary to go about 20 deep per position.  That sounds like a lot but you’ll thank me later.  

The draft is Saturday.  I’m even having a special shirt with my team name(Brady Bunch) and logo(Brady Bunch-logo is Tom Brady with deflated footballs floating around his head a la the Brady Bunch opening credits.  I just wish I didn’t throw away my toy WWE United States Championship belt I bought a few years ago. There will be food: Firehouse subs.  You can’t have a party without food, right? Let the drafting begin! 


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