Beech Tree News Network

It’s time for the list you don’t want to be on.  Since we’re coming off Christmas, I guess it could be the naughty list.  Though I refer to it as……the 2018 Big Dummy Awards!

This year, I’m going at this a little differently.  I usually have singular nominees.  Stupidity in groups seems to be the going thing lately.  Therefore, my four nominees will reflect the group mentality.

ABC.  No, I’m not going to recite the alphabet.  I’m talking about the network.  Ironically, as I was looking back at my Big Dummy 2017 column, ABC took the, um, prize.  Will they repeat? Let’s take stock of their ineptitude, shall we?

ABC droned on and on(and on) about the royal wedding.  If you’re into it, that’s fine.  It’s just that they have fixated over this for pretty much the entire year.  I remember the day of the wedding, only because that day was dad’s surprise birthday party.  As far as the wedding was concerned: you’d think they were preparing for the second coming of Christ.  Every other story on GMA was royal wedding related.  Maybe you thought they’d stop with the royal talk after the wedding.  You would be wrong. 

Perhaps national “media” should, as a whole, take the crown this year.  However, I did think of one singular nominee: Roseanne Barr.  I mean, c’mon Rosie! You can’t be doing what you did.  You might get fired from a show with your name that you created and had for decades.  Oh wait, you did.  Oops! Ambien tweeter Roseanne: you just made the list!

By the way, that last lime is one of Chris Jericho’s catchphrases.  Wouldn’t want this column to get to Hollywood and me get my career ended.  That might screw up a potential big movie role as “cautious onlooker #2.

Maybe Roseanne should’ve paid more attention to Charlie Sheen’s career spiral.  Oh well.  Speaking of Sheen, his former employer is next.  Where do I start, CBS? Michael Weatherly, the former boss himself, Les Moonves? Fox is in the mix as well with their former boss, specifically Fox News.  I’d add the guy that was fired from Lethal Weapon but that was, surprisingly, for a different reason. 

I eliminate Fox because it’s not as major, in my eyes.  NBC is out because 30 Rock is gone.  30 Rock had the problem that is Alec Baldwin.  His are other issues.  NBC and CBS are out for being newbies to this.  That means, for the second consecutive year, ABC walks away with the Big Dummy Award! Can they three-peat? I bet they can.