Beech Tree News Network

Everyone has their own stress coping mechanisms.  I turn to music first.  I took to the internet to discover some ways people cope and came up with some good ones.  1.  Personal growth.  Lots of people work on themselves after, say, a death of a loved one.  2. Problem solving.  When faced with tragedy, some people will look for problems to solve.  Makes sense.  It’s always good to keep your mind running on other things.  3.  Altruism: finding a silver lining in certain situations.  That also makes sense.  4.  Finding benefit such as when friends say at a funeral “they’re in a better place”.  I’m reminded of the song title “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”.  5.  Avoidance.  Avoiding talking about your feelings is never a really great idea.  Take it from someone who’s had a few therapy sessions, it’s always best to talk/work things out.

Number 6 is emotional oppression.  This is slightly different from avoidance in that the person dealing with something refuses to acknowledge their emotions.  This leads to deep emotional scars if it continues for too long.  Next is trivializing.  Rather than acknowledging something, the person takes a “it’s not a big deal” attitude.  This can also be dangerous.  Displacement is the next mechanism.  For instance, when a loved one dies, any sense of control can feel lost.  People then try to control other areas of their life and become frustrated when they can’t.

Self-harm is where this gets dangerous.  This requires professional help.  Whether a loved one is coping by drinking to extremes or even cutting themselves, you should definitely confront them about your concerns.  When friends tell me of personal experiences involving both dangerous mechanism, I try as best I can but I’m certainly no professional. 

The final mechanism is attack.  This can be conjoined with the previous mechanism.  Some are less likely to harm themselves and instead lash out at those around them.  This may only be verbal, sometimes people will lash out physically.  That is dangerous both to them and to those around them.

I’d   suggest seeking professional help for any problem such as this.  Take it from someone who’s been there, there is no shame in seeing a therapist.