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Against The Grain by: Andy Sullivan

Are pick-up lines among the lamest things you’ve ever heard? Is there such a thing as a good pick-up line? Does a non-cheesy line exist?  I did a bit of investigative reporting to find the good, the bad, and the flat-out ugly.

There is no clear origin of pick-up lines, so I just went straight for best and worst. This cheesiness is right in my wheel-house (if I used lines a lot): How much does a polar bear weigh? Well, just enough to break the ice.  Hi, I’m… Also good is the timeless “you’re beautiful”.   I will tell you, however, to be ready for a very solid follow-up, unless the woman is really into you. Where have you been all my life? That is a line that I think could go both ways.  It’s a bit cheesy, perhaps, and could get you a scoff.  Or, if the opposite sex is a true romantic, it could work perfectly.  Since I think most women are romantics, this one may be a sure-fire hall of famer-you know, if there were a hall of fame for lines.

I was a little surprised to hear that “How YOU doin’?” works.  Before the Joey Tribiani  character on Friends, this line wasn’t even on anyone’s radar.  I guess it would work because women would think it was cute.  Any variation of “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” was given to me.  I must say I’ve gotten some “Awe, that’s cute” replies from saying that.  I feel really stupid saying them, but some of them flatter women.  Go figure!

After Googling this, I was surprised that the fifth one down was “how to hit on a storm-trooper: Star Wars pick-up lines.  The cleanest one I can print is “I’m Luke Skywalker”.  There’s some Wookie and Light-Sabre mentions that I’m not even mentioning! Perhaps the worst line given to me when I asked about this was “shawty, can I get at you?” Really? Is that what my gender has resorted to for picking up women? It should be noted that my friend said that does NOT work.  I should hope not! Also pretty bad is “Can I see your tan-line?”  Bottom line; proceed with caution if using a pick-up line.  Some may work, but most do not.

Hello, my name is Andy Sullivan. I received my bachelor’s degree in business from Mid-Continent University in May 2009. I began writing for Beech Tree News in July 2009.  I enjoy playing guitar, the occasional Wii game, writing, and listening to music. I write a sports blog that can be found at   If you have a comment, feel free to leave it in the space below.


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