Beech Tree News Network

It’s that time of the year again; Time for my humorous look at the famous/infamous that did things so incredibly dumb that they qualify for the Big Dummy Awards.  The late Redd Foxx had no idea he’d start a movement when he first uttered those iconic words “You big dummy”!
This year’s nominees are: Miley Cyrus, the inventor of twerking, LeBron James, crack smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford , Justin Beiber,  Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-collectively and nauseatingly known as KimYe.  The reason that Miley Cyrus gets nominated is that she’s gone to great lengths to pretty much destroy her fan base.  I know, if you listen to her, she’ll tell you that she’s only growing up with her former Disney audience.  Let me tell you, I scrolled Facebook after her MTV VMA fiasco with Robin Thicke and heard mostly disgust.  And now she’s released a video that’s apparently racier than anything she’s done, including said VMA performance.  She may say she’s “growing up”.  She still sticks her tongue out.  A 20-something who sticks her tongue out isn’t “grown up”.  It’s annoying.  And it earns you a BDA nom.
Twerking reportedly originated in New Orleans.  It first received national attention in 2000 in a Ying Yang Twins song.  Bet you never thought you’d see the name “Ying Yang Twins” anywhere near this column-surprise! In 2013, students from Scripps Ranch High School in San Diego were suspended for using school equipment for a twerk video uploaded to you-tube.  You stay classy, San Diego. And to whoever invented twerking: Fred Sanford wants to knock you out. Our next nominee, Justin Beiber, is basically the male version of Miley Cyrus.    If I went down the list of what made him worthy of this award, we’d be here until it was time for the 2014 Big Dummy Awards.
This past Fall, Lebron James said the retiring Allen Iverson was probably the greatest basketball player of all time.  Really, Lebron? Michael Jordan’s Bulls annihilated Iverson’s 76ers for the NBA title so bad that they haven’t been in contention throughout the rest of his career.  No titles for Iverson.  Jordan had 6.  Eight playoffs for Iverson; Jordan played 13.  11 All-Star games for Iverson compared to 14 for Jordan.  Five MVP seasons for Jordan compared to one for Iverson.  Nine times all-defensive team for Jordan; None for Iverson.  Yeah, James, Iverson is the greatest of all time.  That dumb statement alone qualifies you for a Big Dummy Award.
Rob Ford leapt onto my radar, as everyone else who follows news, this year.  He’s the mayor of Toronto, but that’s not what gains him notoriety.  He’s the crack smoking mayor of Toronto.  C’mon son.  Not that it’s unusual for politicians to be satire on late night TV, but this guy has made Jimmy Kimmel a very rich man this year.  I know what you’re thinking.  These people have gotten themselves in the news, so how dumb can they be?
Kanye West has long been a pain.  The same can be said for the Kardashian family.  What do you get when you put the two together? Pure mind-numbing drivel is what you get; As well as the distinction of being my final nominee for BDA 2013.  Kanye West has said some foolish things throughout his career.  Kim Kardashian has said foolish things throughout her career.  Together they make you feel worse for humanity than the Jessica Simpson-Nick Lachey chicken of the sea saga. 
So who wins this battle of the boneheads? Let’s do simple elimination.  James really isn’t as much of a dummy as he is extremely confident.  Sure he says outlandish things.  Who hasn’t? He’s the first one eliminated.  Rob Ford is a middle aged crack smoking mayor and he owns it.  He’s been spoofed on SNL and everywhere else.  He’s already seen as somewhat as a dummy.  Why not move him to the semifinals? Kim and Kanye move to the semifinals because, well there are simply too many reasons.  Miley and the twerking: well twerking is as much of a fad as anything else.  Like it or not, Miley can actually sing, once you put aside the childish rebellion antics.  Beiber pretty much makes news for getting in trouble and doing something stupid.  Not to mention his recent horrible movie opening.   He’s just a kid dummy, though.  Maybe next year, Beiber.
Kim and Kanye vs. Miley vs. Ford is what we’re left with.  Ford will eventually lose steam and be a non-story.  I do see him still being however you classify him.  Miley will grow out of this stage as she grew out of Disney.  So, in a shocking elimination, she’s out.  Kim and Kanye vs. Mayor Ford is your championship match.  As everyone knows, a handicap match isn’t exactly fair.  I see some street fighting from KimYe.  They win simply because, come on, they’re nauseatingly dumb.  Therefore, sharing the Big Dummy Award for 2013 are Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, aka KimYe.  Congratulations?

Hello.  My name is Andy Sullivan.  I received my bachelor’s degree in business from Mid-Continent University in June 2009.  I began writing for beechtree in July 2009.  I enjoy writing, photography, watching basketball and football, and playing guitar.  I also write a blog that encompasses sports and entertainment, called Sports and More, at http://andyuk79.tumblr.com If you have any comments, please leave them in the space below.  Thanks for reading!