Beech Tree News Network

It’s time once again for my annual celebration of stupidity.  If it were a Disney dessert, it’d be the D’oh-le Whip.  When I looked up “Biggest idiot of 2017, Bing’s first three results were: Idiots of the day: Big Greek Daddy, More of the internet’s biggest idiots, and How big of an idiot is Donald Trump.  Seriously.  It’s really too bad I wasn’t doing this when Al Gore claimed he invented the internet.  He would’ve made my job easy that year.

The first nominee is the NFL.  Yes, the entire NFL.  Last year I only included Roger Goodell.  Although I guess you could call Goodell the head dummy.  These guys don’t want to stand for the anthem.  These other guys want to stand.  “You’re infringing on our rights”.  How do you think you got those rights”? It was a whole thing.  It’s not as big a deal as it was over the Summer but if Colin “I’m not standing” Kaepernick becomes co-owner and quarterback of the Carolina Panthers(as has been discussed), this could come back.  That brings us to Big Dummy nominee #2….

Colin Kaepernick is number 2.  I mean, he’s the second nominee.  Not…. Never mind.  Stand for the anthem or don’t.  At this point, and for awhile now, I don’t care.  I know how you could’ve nipped that in the bud really quick: stop playing the anthem before games.  Part of me thinks the NFL secretly loved this controversy.  Hey, it took some attention away from the NFL’s concussion issue.  If you notice, the anthem controversy faded a little and the concussion issue returned to the forefront.  I think the NFL could’ve benefitted from a Festivus, specifically the airing of grievances.  Can’t you just picture Goodell or maybe the owners as Frank Costanza saying “I got a lot of problems with you people! Now, you’re gonna hear about ‘em”!

For our 3^rd nominee, we head over to the NBA.  I specifically, though I could put several of those overblown billionaires on this list, New York Knicks owner James Dolan.  He’s about as good at business as I would be as an accountant.  I know there are some of you who don’t know what I’m talking about.  Crash course to sum up: The Knicks have stunk since 2000, having made the NBA Finals in 1999-a shortened season.  That seems like eons ago.  Well, it was (soon to be) 19 years ago.  Hey, at least he’s not former Clippers owner Donald Sterling.  Well, he may  but he doesn’t go on tape with it.  Anyway, the Knicks  are forever terrible and it’s Dolan’s fault. 

Our fourth and final nominee is somebody(s) everybody knows: the national media.  To be specific, ABC.  Maybe it’s just that I can’t handle the “news” anymore when it’s the same old thing night after night.  Honestly, the week in Disney was the best.  Other then eating like a resident of Del Boca Vista, I didn’t see any nightly news shows and it was glorious! “So stop watching the news”, you might say.  I got Amazon Alexa for Christmas so I just might.  Honestly, what would I be missing? Attacks here, attacks there, attacks everywhere.  And that’s not even mentioning a certain media bias in a direction that I’m not going to mention(but we all know).  So, “x” TV news and talk show host off my list of things I’d like to try.

So, who wins the statue of Fred Sanford signifying Big Dummy of the Year for 2017? I’m going to have to give the “honor” to ABC.  What’s my reasoning? Well, there’s enough for a second column on the subject.  I even think the strollers that ran me down at Disney were ABC-approved.  Wouldn’t surprise me!