It's in the Love, Not the Blood: Leap of Faith
I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference--- Robert Frost
It has never been a secret that my husband and I adopted our children from foster care. There have been moments when talking about adoption the look of “oh, you adopted one of THOSE kids” has crossed someone’s face. If you could lend me a few moments of your time, I would like to dispel a few myths about children adopted from foster care.
Myth: You will never love an adopted child like your own.
FACT: Are you kidding me? Love has nothing to do with bloodlines. I love my husband more than he knows and he is not biologically related to me. Love for your children grows from parenting, nurturing and from sharing your life regardless of how he or she joined your family. All of my children are my own, and I love them each with a passion that takes my breath away. Love comes from moments that no amount of money can buy; like when your child lets EVERYONE in Wal-Mart know that you are the best mommy in the whole world because you bought him a Scooby Doo movie, and you know he means it from the depths of his small soul.
Myth: Your child will never consider you their real parent.
FACT: I am a real parent. I am the one who stays up until the early morning hours with a sick child. I am the one that in a few months will stay up even later, because he has missed curfew and doesn’t care that I am imagining all kinds of horrible things have happened to him. Real parents make their child apologize when they have wronged another. Real parents sneak vegetables into their children’s spaghetti sauce. Real parents have gray hairs from worry and laugh lines from joy. Yes, adopted children have two sets of parents: one gave them life and the other did the rest.
Myth: Children adopted from foster care don’t amount to much.
FACT: Really…so then I guess Johann Sebastian Bach, Steve Jobs, Coco Chanel, Dave Thomas, Maya Angelou, Daunte Culpepper, Ella Fitzgerald, Alexander Hamilton, Andrew Jackson, Truman Capote, George Herman “Babe” Ruth, Moses, Eleanor Roosevelt, Herman Melville (just to name a few) didn’t amount to much either? Oh and by the way, Jesus was raised by Mary and Joseph who were not his biological parents. I’m just saying….
Myth: Foster children waiting to be adopted have all kinds of problems.
FACT: Many children have entered the foster care system through no fault of their own. Many of these children have been abused and neglected. These children did not do anything wrong. Yes, some children do have emotional or physical concerns resulting from their abuse or neglect that have to be addressed but it’s simply not true that ALL children from foster care have major problems.
If you have ever thought about adoption, consider adopting a child from foster care. Don’t be trapped by these myths. Do your research, talk to knowledgeable people, say your prayers, and then take the proverbial leap of faith.
C. Denise Lambrianou is the Program Coordinator for Family Enrichment Center-Adoption Resource Program, which is funded in part by a grant from the Cabinet of Health and Family Services, Department of Protection and Permanency and Wendy’s of Bowling Green. If you would like information about becoming a foster or adoptive family, or you would like to inquire about a featured child, please call (270) 781-6714 x 3 or (866) 842-9032 x 3.
Zachary (whose nickname is Zack) was born in 1/96. He is a handsome, athletic teen with boundless energy and enthusiasm for life. He is intelligent and enjoys reading, working puzzles, drawing, and doing art projects - especially art with molding clay. One day, he might be interested in working at Starbucks and creating coffee drinks. Zach enjoys playing team sports, swimming, playing laser tag, and riding go carts. As far as being adopted goes, Zach actually made his own list of what he is looking for in an adoptive family. Here is the list of what Zach would like: A really active family: One with pets; One with kids around his own age to play with – both in the actual home and in the neighborhood; A family that will help him with school; A family who lives out in the country and has a big yard; A family that goes fishing a lot; A family that’s not really rich, but not poor—a family that is in the middle; Personalities that are easy to get along with; No yelling; Parents who will settle their disagreements without Zack being around; No physical discipline; No smoking; Some extra family (extended family) around; A family that takes vacations (keeping in mind that fishing and being really active are important to him). Zack has spent some time thinking about adoption and how he would fit in with a new family. He may feel anxious about switching schools and he wants to take time to visit and get to know a new family. He wants to learn what their rules and expectations are before he gets there. Zach wants to please and he wants to be accepted. He is excited about the opportunity to be adopted and what the future has in store for him.